I love the smell of fresh cut grass. Not Florida grass but Michigan grass. It triggers summer memories from long ago being away at camp. Summer...no lunches to pack, not many places to go and way too many opportunities to have a glass of wine with friends.
My husband had a BIG birthday (he is ten years older than I) and I planned an amazing party for him. His two best friends from other states came in....it was a lot of work but a labor of love! My daughter sang a solo...it was amazing. I am posting a picture of before the party with my two kids...normally in running or riding clothes and a pony tail...this is not the normal look!
A few things have happened that make my mind return to the past and that smell of fresh cut grass reminds me of a day, long ago... sitting on the balcony of this apartment where I used to live with my first husband. I wanted nothing more than to be married to him. It was first love and young love. He never could conform to society demands and was really, really unique. I loved that about him. I also loved his family. We had the typical wedding, got our first jobs, bought a house and never built a life together. I don't think it failed for lack of love...just failed for lack of passion toward building a life together. Neither of us was happy. He bailed, I cried and then realized that he was right to bail. We both ended up remarried...to the right person or at least we both figured out how to build a life with someone we love...both have had children and basically never had any contact after the summer of 1994. Thirteen years later, a friend of mine stumbled across his blog. We exchanged some words of closure but that was it. I can never hate this man. I don't think you can hate someone that you once loved with every part of yourself. It was not the love I share with Don (my husband) it was young, immature, crazy lustful love. there. It got me thinking about my past and my present. I don't know if it is really a place to go-our pasts. Aren't there people though that touch our lives...that are responsible for the person we have become? He was one of them. For that, I will always be grateful. I have decided to spend more time on this blog visiting my past...perhaps a place that some day Donny and Mackenzie can find out some things about life, me and my pursuit to be the best that I can be.
