I am so crabby right now I cannot even stand myself. I know it is TOM doing the talking but I am ready to punch a hole in the wall...everything and everyone is bugging me!!!! I am struggling in a huge way with a clean diet and I am wondering once again if it is for me right now. A little history about me...I have lifted weights for the last decade or so. In those ten years I have had two kids. With the first baby, I lost the baby weight by following WW and then after I lost the initial weight I leaned out with a clean diet. I am 15 pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight with baby number two. I had put on a few pounds before getting pregnant with him so really only ten away from there. Here is my issue. For 18 months I have made attempts to lose this extra weight by eating chicken, green beans, egg whites, protein shakes etc... for 18 months I have lost and gained, lost and gained. During this time I have had three close friends follow a WW plan and lose many more pounds than I need to lose...I get the building muscle, metabolism boosting...I get it all. What I don't get is myself and I end up eating too many calories in a day when I eat clean until four o'clock and then I eat five girl scout cookies etc... tony would like me to listen to mp3's and to talk about this until I am blue in the face. I am just tired of thinking about it ALL of the time. I am tired of feeling guilty ALL of the time and I am TIRED of feeling like I have failed ALL of the time. I know I can lose the last pounds if I follow the WW plan and I know I will lose some muscle. I guess this is where I am right now....the next ten week are the ten busiest of the year for me. We begin showing our horses on the winter circuit and between riding, working, being a mom, managing our barn of horses and being invited to endless food events I don't know if I can be the chicken eating fool I know I should be. I do know that since last April, I have woken up everyday with the intention of eating clean, with the intention of becoming so lean my abs would wow the world and since April I am exactly the same...I am emotional over this tonight because I am sick of the energy this is taking...I don't feel like I have the energy. I just want to lose ten pounds the way I have always succeeded. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow and try it that way. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow and have the motivation that Martha, Beka, Reese, April and Stacey have found. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow morning and this horrible mood will be gone and I can again be nice to my kids, my husband and my dogs.
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4 comments:
You need a serious kick in the rear. You KNOW better. You also answered every single one of your complaints in your own post!!
Yeah, WW will get the weight off quick, but the weight will also come back ON quick. You know that!
Are your friends skinny fat? Are they really, REALLY lean and toned? Really?
Trust Tony! In the beginning when I started with him, in my mind I questioned EVERYTHING. I didn't let him know, but you know what? It was a trust thing. I had to turn all my trust over to him and use the Forrest Gump Philosophy. Do everything you are told to do and it will all work out perfectly!
Don't question a single thing he tells you to do. Don't look at your friends losing the weight.
Every single day for a month, get up and eat, workout, etc. Go from meal to meal without thinking about anything else. Some days it is just meal to meal motivation. Measure all of your food out exactly. Chug water between meals, drink your green tea. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! Just do it.
After that month is up, you will be amazed at the changes and THAT will motivate you more than anything.
Here's a big ole hug. xoxo :o)
I have to agree with Beka.
(and had to laugh a little cause I couldn't read REALLY without hearing the SNL skit)
Anyway--don't think it's all happy land in my house. I had a really bad moment last night and was ready to dive in to ANYTHING that wasn't freakin chicken or green vegetables....but after about 20 minutes of bitching and little bit of crying and then leaving the house, I felt better. I talked to Tony the other week when I was having blood sugar issues and got the green light to add a little extra here and there to get through those moments...it's all clean but it breaks the monotony a little bit.
Believe me...sometimes the motivation isn't there....and you have to go and look for it. That's why I am so glad that Stacey, Beka, April and YOU that are working with Tony have blogs that I can read for inspiration every day.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
I agree with Beka! If you can do it for a month then you'll be hooked! I don't even look at the cookies and bagels at work anymore. I just want to see my body become its best. My body the way I can be.
Keep at it!
Motivation, yes, it's there, but it is still hard. If it wasn't hard America would not be overweight and addicted to fast food. Step it up. You CAN do it. I have to try to squeeze 6 eggs down while teaching Algebra...it's a pain, but I get it done. It's not perfect timing, etc everyday, but I work it out. In the words of Tim Gunn "Make it work!"
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